Do you know Neil Humphrey? He is a British humour columnist who moved to Singapore in 1996 and lived here for more than 10 years. He's authored 3 books about Singapore. Recently, he wrote an article for Men's Health. Under the column Man to Man, he write about his thoughts on men who cry.
He declared that he is a cry baby when it comes to movie. Have you seen the movie "My Sister's Keeper". I can relate to Neil because I was crying when I watch the movie on DVD.
Ok, so it's my turn. Do I cry at movie? Yes I do. I think I got braver at admitting it after reading the article. Coincidentally, I was talking to Nami about the Japanese movie that won Best Foreign film at the Academy Award. I cried at the theatre too. Over the years, I realise I am more sensitive to my feelings and I can better articulate them. I no longer find it weird or girlie to cry. God made me a human with the ability to experience the full spectrum of emotion-Joy,anxiety,sadness, happiness, loneliness, great sense of fulfillment, indignant and so on. Sometimes I wonder if we have enough words in the world to describe emotion.
When you are happy, you want to share it with someone. When you are full of joy, you can't take the smile off your face. When you are sad, disappointed, depressed, you cry. There is nothing unusually or weird about crying. Sometimes, I find it surprising that I cry and I try to find out why. I hardly think about it when I broke out into laughter. Am I right?
You see, there are alot of things about our body and about the world that we have yet to fully understand and comprehend. Take for instance, thunderstorm. Up till today, no one can fully understood how clouds are formed. How is it that the gathering of water vapour can generate so much energy? We know about the static electric form in cumulus clouds. But where and how does the energy comes from. All we know is that lightning could generate tens of thousands of wattage.
Why do human cry? We don't really know. Though some speculate that it's the body natural mechanism to cope with stress and/or grieve. We also cry when we're overwhelm with joy, Haven't you seen men cry when they win at sports?
If you don't usually suppress your smile when you are happy, do the same when you are sad. Go on and cry.
Showing posts with label masculinity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label masculinity. Show all posts
Wednesday, 5 May 2010
Monday, 27 October 2008
Friend of God
I am reading The Way of the Wild Heart by John Eldredge. Kind of like part 2 to his book, Wild at Heart.
I love Wild at Heart. I felt liberated as a men. Seriously, a lot of men, including myself, are unsure of our role as a men. It is just about paying for the date, opening doors etc? Why do we behave the way we behave? Why are men aggressive? why are we angry? Why are we jealous? Remember, we were created in God's image and let me remind you that our God is ALSO aggressive and can be angry and jealous. Are this quality bad per se?? Find out in part 1- Wild at Heart.
In The Way of the Wild Heart. John describe the different stages of a musculine journey
Beloved Son. Cowboy. Warrior. Lover. King. And finally Sage (a profoundly wise person).
Today I am reading the chapter, Raising the King. A king needs to be a friend of God.
Why did John the apostle repeat this verse
"I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning. "
John Eldredge believes that there is a significant in the repetition.
Notice that for the mature man, the fathers, the chorus does not change. Of them, the older men, the same refrain is used twice. Something stable is implied here, something established and unchanging. They are the ones who " have known him from the beginning." "Have," meaning it's been going on for some time now. " Known," meaning actual, personal, intimate knowledge, as a man knows his best friend. " Him who is from the beginning," meaning God. The fathers are the friends of God.
There are 2 men (they are in the King Stage at that time) in the bible whom God describe as friend. There is Abraham, whom God calls "my friend" in Issiah 41:8 (NIV). And there is Moses, of whom it is said, "The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend" (exodus 33:11 NIV).
When I get to the King stage in my masculine journey (I'm not sure which stage I am in), I want to be a friend of God.
I love Wild at Heart. I felt liberated as a men. Seriously, a lot of men, including myself, are unsure of our role as a men. It is just about paying for the date, opening doors etc? Why do we behave the way we behave? Why are men aggressive? why are we angry? Why are we jealous? Remember, we were created in God's image and let me remind you that our God is ALSO aggressive and can be angry and jealous. Are this quality bad per se?? Find out in part 1- Wild at Heart.
In The Way of the Wild Heart. John describe the different stages of a musculine journey
Beloved Son. Cowboy. Warrior. Lover. King. And finally Sage (a profoundly wise person).
Today I am reading the chapter, Raising the King. A king needs to be a friend of God.
12I write to you, dear children,
because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.
13I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you have overcome the evil one.
I write to you, dear children,
because you have known the Father.
14I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you are strong,
and the word of God lives in you,
and you have overcome the evil one. (1 John 2: 12-14)
because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.
13I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you have overcome the evil one.
I write to you, dear children,
because you have known the Father.
14I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you are strong,
and the word of God lives in you,
and you have overcome the evil one. (1 John 2: 12-14)
Why did John the apostle repeat this verse
"I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning. "
John Eldredge believes that there is a significant in the repetition.
Notice that for the mature man, the fathers, the chorus does not change. Of them, the older men, the same refrain is used twice. Something stable is implied here, something established and unchanging. They are the ones who " have known him from the beginning." "Have," meaning it's been going on for some time now. " Known," meaning actual, personal, intimate knowledge, as a man knows his best friend. " Him who is from the beginning," meaning God. The fathers are the friends of God.
There are 2 men (they are in the King Stage at that time) in the bible whom God describe as friend. There is Abraham, whom God calls "my friend" in Issiah 41:8 (NIV). And there is Moses, of whom it is said, "The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend" (exodus 33:11 NIV).
When I get to the King stage in my masculine journey (I'm not sure which stage I am in), I want to be a friend of God.
Friday, 11 April 2008
Into the Wild, the book and the movie
Jon Krauer is an amazing adventure writer. I was traveling in Tibet and I met this Canadian-New Zealand couple. They told me about this great book, Into Thin Air- A personal account of the infamous 1996 Mount Everest disaster. Back than I was reading Into Thin Air in Kathmandu while waiting for my sister Charmaine to join me for 2 weeks. How timely is that for me to read about Everest in the Himalayas. I believe the location contributes to the excitement.
I finished reading Into Thin Air while I was halfway through Annapurna Circuit Trek. Click here (5th and 7th Apr 2007) When I got back to Kathmandu, I went to bookstores to search for everything about the 1996 disaster, then I chanced upon Jon's earlier work- Into The Wild. Somehow he like to title his books beginning with the word "Into".
Into The Wild is centred around a young man Chris McCandless. After completed college with impressive results, he decided to take off into the wild. He called it The Great Alaskan Adventure.
Unknown to his parents, Chris left without a word, though his sister Carine was inform of his plans. He threw away his wallet, cut his ID and ATM card into 2. Before he took off, he donated $USD 24,000 to charity. Lastly, to part with his possession, he deserted his broken down Datsun and burnt all his money.
I don't have intention to walk you thru the whole movie, but here's what I think of it.
My insights to the story was 2-fold. One is when I read the book. Two was when I watched the movie.
Thru the book, Chris was casted as a young man who doesn't agrees with how the world is. On top of that, he has an insatiable wanderlust to feed, which led him to his Great Alaskan plans. He finds happiness in the nature when he is immerse in the wild- Mountains, rivers, weather and animals. He delights that he doesn't have a single penny in his pocket. He live on plants and hunt for games for survival. I can relate to him on some levels. The joy of being one with nature, the feeling of being home, in a place where you felt you were created to be.
The movie sheds new insights to the character of Chris. Brilliantly directed by Sean Penn, he went to all the right source. Hooking up with Jon Krauer (who did his homework well in order write an accurate account of the life of Chris), they manage to convince the McCandless family to work with them on this film.
Most distinctly was Chris sister, Carine, whom Chris grew up with intimately. She lends her thoughts and feeling about her brother as it was narrated thruoout the film. Chris hated his parents. His parents lied to him. Dad got married before his parents got married and that fact suddenly made Chris realize he was a bastard: an illegitimate child. And that also makes her mom a mistress.
Growing up, mom and dad frequently fight, not just an exchange of heart-piercing words, but also physical abuse. Dad has no respect for mom, often refer her as "woman".
Chris is bitter about life. His whole life is a lie. He hated society for its hypocrisy, lies and double standards. He hated how everyone is doing things because everyone else is doing it. "Job is a 21th century invention. I don't need a job", Chris told an old man.
I think to a certain extent, Chris is running away. Bitterness and hatred is the drive behind his running.
Let me tell you something else about Chris. One thing for sure, Chris is a survivor. We all are survivor but Chris is an exceptional good one. He survived in the urban- straights A's in college to secure a place in Havard, working in Mcdonald's, on a wheat field, live with gypsies. He survive in the wild- He hunt for games, he search for edible berries. And he is good with people. He make friends everywhere. People simply love him, I mean in the movie, people whom he met cries when he leaves. That says a lot about his people's skill.
Finally, Chris made enough money to get to Alaska were he spend years there. He did that not because he was a nerd or a loner or an outcast. He did that by choice. I think he went out to search for his soul, to reset his magnetic compass and to find his bearing in life. In the book Wild at Heart, John Eldredge, a Christian writer, talks about what is inside a men's heart. And the way to find that out is to go into the wild.
Not all is gloomy and dark. There are some light moments too. This is my fav. Chris said:
"I mean, You are really good. I mean you are like 100,000 times better than, like, any APPLES I've ever had. I'm not superman, I'm supertramp. You are SUPERAPPLE! You're so tasty, you are so organic, so natural. You are the apple of my eye!"
(Chris renamed himself as Alexander Supertramp during the time he wanders)
Chris adventure took a spiral turn- his rice supply was running low, games are rare to find. Then he found wild potatoes roots which is mistaken as edible. These poisonous wild plants eventually cause him to get weaker and weaker, his waistline thinner and thinner.
In his last moment, he made a realization. I think maybe he's ready to forgive his parents. He wrote in his diary, sign off as Christopher Johnson McCandless.
"Happiness is found when shared".
I totally agree with him.
I finished reading Into Thin Air while I was halfway through Annapurna Circuit Trek. Click here (5th and 7th Apr 2007) When I got back to Kathmandu, I went to bookstores to search for everything about the 1996 disaster, then I chanced upon Jon's earlier work- Into The Wild. Somehow he like to title his books beginning with the word "Into".
Into The Wild is centred around a young man Chris McCandless. After completed college with impressive results, he decided to take off into the wild. He called it The Great Alaskan Adventure.
Unknown to his parents, Chris left without a word, though his sister Carine was inform of his plans. He threw away his wallet, cut his ID and ATM card into 2. Before he took off, he donated $USD 24,000 to charity. Lastly, to part with his possession, he deserted his broken down Datsun and burnt all his money.
I don't have intention to walk you thru the whole movie, but here's what I think of it.
My insights to the story was 2-fold. One is when I read the book. Two was when I watched the movie.
Thru the book, Chris was casted as a young man who doesn't agrees with how the world is. On top of that, he has an insatiable wanderlust to feed, which led him to his Great Alaskan plans. He finds happiness in the nature when he is immerse in the wild- Mountains, rivers, weather and animals. He delights that he doesn't have a single penny in his pocket. He live on plants and hunt for games for survival. I can relate to him on some levels. The joy of being one with nature, the feeling of being home, in a place where you felt you were created to be.
The movie sheds new insights to the character of Chris. Brilliantly directed by Sean Penn, he went to all the right source. Hooking up with Jon Krauer (who did his homework well in order write an accurate account of the life of Chris), they manage to convince the McCandless family to work with them on this film.
Most distinctly was Chris sister, Carine, whom Chris grew up with intimately. She lends her thoughts and feeling about her brother as it was narrated thruoout the film. Chris hated his parents. His parents lied to him. Dad got married before his parents got married and that fact suddenly made Chris realize he was a bastard: an illegitimate child. And that also makes her mom a mistress.
Growing up, mom and dad frequently fight, not just an exchange of heart-piercing words, but also physical abuse. Dad has no respect for mom, often refer her as "woman".
Chris is bitter about life. His whole life is a lie. He hated society for its hypocrisy, lies and double standards. He hated how everyone is doing things because everyone else is doing it. "Job is a 21th century invention. I don't need a job", Chris told an old man.
I think to a certain extent, Chris is running away. Bitterness and hatred is the drive behind his running.
Let me tell you something else about Chris. One thing for sure, Chris is a survivor. We all are survivor but Chris is an exceptional good one. He survived in the urban- straights A's in college to secure a place in Havard, working in Mcdonald's, on a wheat field, live with gypsies. He survive in the wild- He hunt for games, he search for edible berries. And he is good with people. He make friends everywhere. People simply love him, I mean in the movie, people whom he met cries when he leaves. That says a lot about his people's skill.
Finally, Chris made enough money to get to Alaska were he spend years there. He did that not because he was a nerd or a loner or an outcast. He did that by choice. I think he went out to search for his soul, to reset his magnetic compass and to find his bearing in life. In the book Wild at Heart, John Eldredge, a Christian writer, talks about what is inside a men's heart. And the way to find that out is to go into the wild.
Not all is gloomy and dark. There are some light moments too. This is my fav. Chris said:
"I mean, You are really good. I mean you are like 100,000 times better than, like, any APPLES I've ever had. I'm not superman, I'm supertramp. You are SUPERAPPLE! You're so tasty, you are so organic, so natural. You are the apple of my eye!"
(Chris renamed himself as Alexander Supertramp during the time he wanders)
Chris adventure took a spiral turn- his rice supply was running low, games are rare to find. Then he found wild potatoes roots which is mistaken as edible. These poisonous wild plants eventually cause him to get weaker and weaker, his waistline thinner and thinner.
In his last moment, he made a realization. I think maybe he's ready to forgive his parents. He wrote in his diary, sign off as Christopher Johnson McCandless.
"Happiness is found when shared".
I totally agree with him.
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