Tomorrow is the Single’s Retreat at Batam. I am quite sore that I can’t be there with the singles ministry as most of my good friends will be there. I told God in my morning prayer.
An hour later, I was preparing for my flight. I notice that I have a new msg. It was from Stanley. I couldn’t believe that he’s asking me if I wanna join him at the retreat. A brother is giving up his place due to work commitment over the retreat weekend. I couldn’t say no. This offer is surely from God.
I find it amazing that this is my first time to Batam and 2nd time visiting Indonesia despite the proximity. On Fri 0800hrs, I met up with Eric at Bukit Batok and ride down to Harbourfront MRT station where we’re meeting the rest at the Singapore Cruise Centre at 0915hrs. Eric and I manage to find a spot to pray together.
It’s just exciting to see so many familiar faces. Over breakfast, the conversation revolves around Chinese history and the cross strait relation with Taiwan. I was in favour of Taiwan’s independent. The other brother was rather for unification. Men like to talk about world affairs, as though our opinions can change the world.
The ferry journey is approximately 1 hour. Factor in 1 more hour for embarking and disembarking, and also factor in 30mins for transportation to our accommodation at Holiday Inn Resort. I set foot at the lobby before 1200hrs Batam time. (1 hour behind Singapore)
After briefing and lunch, my roommate Justin Ho handed the room key to me. I was pleasantly surprise by the comfort and size of my room. 1 living room complete with sofa set and TV, and also 1 bedroom with 2 single-size bed. The bathroom is under-utilized by 2 guest who are hardly in the room.
Movie Therapy on Loneliness
Most of us did a survey on loneliness and we are aware of our own state of loneliness based on the survey. John gave us a statistic. About 15% of singles across all age group are not lonely.
I learned that we need to bust this myth that going into a dating relation or being married will lift us out from loneliness. One can be lonely as a single or married. Good news for me as a single. The solution to loneliness is irrespective of my status as a single. Later on in the movie therapy, I learn that combating loneliness starts by having deep and meaningful relationship. It’s about making a connection with people. For we were all created as social creature.
Often, the problem of loneliness seems to grow exponentially with age. But once this myth is busted, it is easier to deal with the anxiety of being single.
Because of the time difference, sunset is around 6pm. Zach and I manage to squeeze in 1 hour to enjoy the pool. We had a bonding time talking about the lesson we learnt from John. Although at this point both of us are short of having 7 best friends as recommended, we were hopeful that we can work towards that.
Across the road from the resort is like a small town. There are restaurants, coffeeshops, pubs and all sorts of shops. Zach and I saw at a distance a restaurant that is crowded. It is not difficult to know that those are disciples by the level of noise they created.
I saw my room mate Justin Ho after dinner. I thought it would be a good idea to make new friends. So we went to a nearby pub and chatted over Heineken and Bintang beer. Later on we found out the bill came to SGD 3.50. (Really cheap). Justin and I knew each other by face way back 10 years. Amazingly our lives did not cross path until today. He shared with conviction how the past 1-2 years have been live changing for him. Prior to that, he has left the church but got restored 2 years ago. We share how the lesson has help us. I find comfort to know how we can be quick friends in the kingdom of God. We actually have a lot in common than we thought.
This evening was supposed to be free and easy. The Crystal Ballroom was open for us to play boardgames. Zach and the crooners are found in the KTV room belting out All By Myself, though they are far from being by themselves. I was drawn to the fellowship with Ching Eu, Joanne, Josephine, Berlin and Damon over the dining area. I had my cravings for Bang! and introduced the game to them. At the 2nd game, some of them looks as though they were drank. And so we ended the game and retire to our room.
Morning run
I woke up at 0600hrs to go for what I call “Exploratory” run. I want to know the area around the resort. Well, I “discovery” that the seafood restaurant area where I had my dinner was not that big. It takes 4 mins to complete a round. 2nd discovery was that the ferry terminal is just right next to it. A walk from the resort to the ferry terminal would not take more than 15mins. After 40 mins of going round and round, I headed back to the gym in the resort.
The Beaches
The morning opened as Karen Louis (Yes, John Louis’ Wife) did a duet with Celine, singing the song Wind Beneath my Wings by Bette Midley. I was touched that Karen did that simply because she love us (the single ministry).
After more movie therapy, John wanted us to watch the full movie, The Beaches, Starring Bette Midley and her hit from the 80’s Wind Beneath my Wings.
Most of us knows Bette Midley as a great singer, she also very good as an actress. I didn’t recognize her until I saw the end credits that she is playing the lead actress CC Bloom.
I was moved by the story of a long standing friendship between 2 childhood friend. Deep inside me, the passion and longing for friendship was re-ignite. Life-lessons taught us that friendship is not worth pursuing and persevering. Think about all the negative experience you have had- hurt, betrayal, humiliation, breaking of trust, superficiality. Maybe all friendships are temporary, even the best of friends grow apart.
When they were young and didn’t have a lot materially, life in New York city was simpler. They could find contentment in one another.
Later on fame, wealth and men came between the 2 best friends, CC Bloom and Hillary Whitney. And a cat fight between them broke up at the mall. CC thought hard and deep: “What would life be without a best friend (Hillary)”. She was deeply affected.
Later on Hillary’s dad died and she inherit his property. She moved out of the apartment in NY. Over the years, CC writes to her, trying to reconnect with her. Hillary never opened any of the letters but returns them to CC.
Fast forward.
Later on, Hillary looks up CC in NY and they make up. Her husband strayed and they divorce, she was already pregnant when it happened. CC and Hillary raise the girl together.
Then Hillary contracted a heart condition and it makes her tired most of the time. In her last few moments, she wanted to spend the time with her daughter Victoria and CC at the summer beach resort.
It’s sad to see Hillary go. And I know that a lot of disciples in the room were moved to tears. As for me, I am convinced that friendship is so important in our lives. It is not fame, wealth and material possession. There was an urge to go up to my best friend and gave them a big bear hug, telling them how much I love them.
I am hopeful that we all can find a soulmate in our live.
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